Feeling Trapped

 I have made a promise to myself to try not judge a book by it's cover? We have all done it whether or not you realize or catch yourself. We can do it with people we meet, places we go. There all the proverbial BOOK. I have caught myself quite a few times and I'm trying to stop it. As of late with the "move" and being in a new town, I have learned what it feels like to be on the outside or to feel judged. It's not a good feeling and it has been a good lesson for me to learn.
 Making friends is not as easy as I remember it. In fact we've been here for months and have yet to meet someone that could be referred to as a possible friend. I thought when we moved things would be some how the same as they were where we used to live, not that we would know everybody, but that people would be friendly and approachable. The city once again proved me wrong. I had such high hopes for our family and how wonderful it would be living in a new place with a few connections. Meeting new people and being introduced to friends of our family. Well...maybe that's my problem, the high hopes. I got ahead of myself once again.
 You can only keep so busy before you start feeling sorry for yourself. I feel bad for my kids, I can't tell you how many times they've come to me and said they miss their friends. That they had so much to do when we lived in the other place and how bored they are now. We put the boys in foot ball and the school year just started so there's hope. I really feel bad for them, but I don't know how much more of this I can stand.

The Feast of the Assumption of Mary

 

Mary the Most Holy Virgin Mother was Assumed body and Soul into Heaven.

The Feast is celebrated on August 15th.

                                                  ~ Josephine (4yrs) hard at work ~

 ~ Solanus (2yrs) so very proud of his picture of Our Lady ~ 

~ the coloring page ~

~ Gemma and Kateri ~

Life with Hashimoto's Disease

I didn't think I would ever be this person, the one that feels the need to inform or writes on a blog about certain issues, that effect them. Well.... I am now. I have Hashimotos disease, in fact many people have it and don't realize it. 27 million people (mostly women) in America have this disease and half of those people go undetected. Most doctors don't test for it because it wouldn't change their course of action, that is if you don't have abnormal thyroid function, you won't get a cure all pill. And I haven't... because I don't have an abnormal thyroid function. What I do have (God Bless my husband for putting up with me) is mood swings, hives, fatigue, bouts of depression, hair loss, extreme weight gain, anxiety, dry hair, dry itchy skin, hoarse voice, susceptible to getting sick easily, stomach problems, unhealthy vitals, and the list goes on, and on. I manage for the most part, but I have these really, really good days that make me want more. I also have some horribly bad ones where I can barely make it out of bed. I have felt that doctors and friends viewed me as crazy, for a while I thought I was crazy, I truly did. My mom and my aunt both have hypothyroidism and I had many, if not more symptoms than they did, but my T3 and T4 were always within normal limits. This has been going on for about 14 years. I'm a skinny person trapped in a fat person's body. My moods are not my own, I'm not that person. It's the struggle for my life and not very many people see that. I have lost 5 pregnancies most likely due to the fact that my immune system is destroying my thyroid gland. At one point they thought I had cancer and then valley fever. I can't tell you how hard it was to hear something, try to deal with it and then to find out that wasn't it at all. It wasn't until early last year that my doctor (an awesome doctor) listened to me and figured it out. Since then I have been trying to exercise and eat better and I have seen very little effects from my work.The last few days I have started to read this book "Why Do I Still Have Thyroid Symptoms? When My Lab Test Are Normal". My husband bought it for me after reading a couple pages and seeing his wife's dilemma in print. I have only read the intro and the 1st chapter, but already I'm learning and understanding  how the thyroid functions and how it effects all the areas of the body. I can't tell you how affirming it is to see the problems you experience, the symptoms you have in writing. I no longer view myself as crazy (even in the back of my mind) I was just misinformed. Now, I hope I have tools to get my life back.



for more info http://www.thyroid360.com/

Think Again

I hate money issues. I hate fees. I hate banks that charge fees when your in the black, but they think you don't have enough in your account. Yes, there is a fee for "low balance." So, let me get this straight, the bank says "hey, you don't have enough money in your account, we want more, so we're going to charge X amount of dollars, have a nice day." The schedule of FEES that some banks have is flippin ridiculous. There is a fee for not using the money in your account, there's a fee if you use too much (which we already established), there are fees if you don't write a check and fees if you do. I could go on for days about this. I understand they're a business, but come on, really??? Who sits there and figures out these fees? Obviously someone who has no other thought in his head, other than to get your money in his pocket. And yes, they gave me a list of fees and I did browse over it, but I didn't think they could charge me for what "they" think my balance should be. I guess I need to think again.

Recent Reads

I just finished Three Weeks with My Brother by Nicholas Sparks and Micah Sparks. It was a great read!
I enjoyed their relationship and their family tales. It was surprising how many similarities there were in my childhood and theirs. It was funny, tragic, heart warming and memorable. Life always has it's way, in the end it's just what you're able to make of it.

Crazy Daze

In the last couple weeks I have felt like I'm going non-stop. I'm working on finding a curriculum for my kids ( haven't got very far), the fourth of July, one possible root canal, possible removal on tonsils, cut up sheets and Insurance companies.... these are some of things that have plagued my life recently. Oh, and I turned 32.

I was talking to my sister in law about a book she gave me a few years back and I still have not read it through :(  "A Mother's Rule of Life"  This book and completing my children's curriculum, will be my next task. The author is very enjoyable, but pride got in the way and I didn't finish reading. I never thought of myself as a scheduled mom, but now days I'm seeing the need for it. I don't know if wisdom comes with age or if I'm just tried of feeling like I didn't get anything done at the end of the day.  The author talks about balance between household duties and homeschooling (something I always have trouble with). I need peace in my life and I'm really hoping that this (if applied) might afford me some.

The Tale of the Picker

Children pick, it's a fact. They pick noses, wedgies, some even pick belly buttons. My story is a tale of a picker of sorts. To some it will be distrubing and to others it will be common place.  For me it was too much!

~ The other night I was up late with my two littlest. They had taken naps too late in the day to go to bed at a normal hour, so mommy got to stay awake for a lot longer then she expected. We were sitting on the couch enjoying ourselves. The kiddos were watching Toy Story,  I was on my laptop when I realized that my poor son was being attacked by his sister. I looked down to find her showing the tip of her finger to her brother saying "eww" and wiping her finger on the couch. I told her to knock it off, she giggled. A second later she was waving her finger in his face again. Told her to stop (I have a problem with consistantcy, I don't have any). I went back to what I was doing, just too exhausted to actually make her listen. Out of the corner of my eye I saw what she was doing. She would stick her finger in my son's ear and pull it out with ear wax on it. She looked like she was a pirate looking for treasure and when she got it, she was thrilled, so much so that she had to show her brother. "Look Bubba, eeeewww," she would say as she wave that finger around. My son would look real hard at the tip of her finger and as he squinted he said, "ucky, JoJo." Don't get me wrong it was funny, just gross at the same time. So being the good mom I should,  I said, "I'm serious, knock that off, it's gross!" I think I used her complete name when I ended my declaration. She giggled a second time. I gave her one of my famous dirty looks. Looking back, I don't think I scared her in the least, but at the time I thought there was some improvement. She slowly got up and went to the kitchen, I figured she was getting a drink, which she did. It was then on her way back to the couch that I realized  her dasteredly plan as she set back on the couch ( on the other side of her brother ). That sicko wanted her brother's other ear! I called her on it, as she slowly sat down acting like she wasn't doing anything. She giggled her last. This time I stood my ground (couch), she was not able to pick my poor defendless child's ear any longer. I took the spot between them!

For those that are wondering: my childs ears were clean... well at least I thought they were. I had just giving him a bath.